It seems a little insulting at first. After all there are tons of worthy causes that have their own ribbons and their own month, but May is Zombie Awareness Month as made known by the very real “Zombie Research Society”. That site actually monitors zombie outbreaks and prepares you for the inevitable zombie apocalypse. But why May? Why not something more fitting, like October?
The reason makes sense, as this is a tongue in cheek awareness month, most zombie movies occur in May. Good enough reason I guess. So being that it is Zombie Awareness month we figured we’d look at our favorite zombie movies, and also the top 5 ways to survive a zombie apocalypse.
Favorite Zombie Movies:
5. Zombieland- Yes, it’s new. But it mixes comedy and horror at just the right levels. Plus who doesn’t love a good Twinkie?
4.Re-Animator-Based loosely on the works of HP Lovecraft, it’s a sick and twisted funny tale of one mans obsession with bringing back the dead. Plus it has zombie sex. Easy win.
3.King of the Zombies-Okay so it’s not the traditional zombie eat your flesh movies, but it is pure fun and a great example of early 40’s racism with the one of the main characters being the stereotypical big eyed black valet who is scared of everything. I’m sorry, I just love it for the quote “This place is zombified!”
2.Chopper Chicks in ZombieTown-“Cycle-Sluts”, Troma, Martha Quinn, Zombies and Titties. What more do I need to say?
1. “……of the Dead”- We couldn’t pick just one of George A Romero’s Dead movies, so we picked them all. They are all fun, and the first two changed the way the world saw Zombies. The last few have been so so but they have been all Romero, and all zombie goodness.
What to do in case of the Zombie Apocalypse
5.Drive, don’t walk-If all of the zombie movies have taught us anything it’s that you have to get the fuck out of where you are, and get as far away from civilization as possible. In that thinking, you have to get in a car, pack up as much fuel as you can and drive. Sure the highways are going to be congested with dead cars, but who said you have to follow the highways? The world is over, remember? Drive where the hell you want and get out of dodge as fast as possible.
4.Chainsaws are cool, bullets are better-Sure it’s awesome to take out a zombie in a video game with a big ass chainsaw, but let me tell ya somethin….chainsaws clog, take gas and get you really close to what you’re trying to cut. While thats fine with a tree, it sucks with something that’s trying to eat you! Get a gun, a big gun, and take those assholes out from a safe distance.
3.Wal-Mart aint open- Stock up early. Or if you find yourself waking up to the living dead, get to the nearest store, raid that bitch and take everything you’re ever going to need. I’m talking U-Haul stuff here. Don’t skimp on anything, even the little things. You’re going to have to start hunting sooner or later, and it will be much easier later when the zombies have thinned out a bit.
2.Zombies don’t swim-How many movies have you seen where the undead come speeding at you like fucking sharks? Not many. They tend to sink fairly well, and don’t know the dog paddle for shit. Boats seem like a logical place to spend a lot of your days, fishing for a lot of food, raiding ports for the rest.
1.Don’t be a hero-Sure you’d like to be Shaun of the Dead and save the day for you and the missus, right Dave? But fact is, that now you’re on your own. You have to look out for only one person…you. If you want to sacrifice yourself for the sake of your family, then you’ll have to do it. Anyone else? Fuck em. While the zombies are feasting on the neighbor over there, you can make your get away, and feast on Twinkies all night long.
So, in Zombie Awareness month, stock up, and be aware. And if you want, you can show your support by buying a cool Zombie Awareness Shirt by clicking here.
