Keepers Tales: The Love & Hate of Bill & Ted


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Greetings…you may call me …Keeper..for I am the keeper of tales.

It’s been some time since I’ve had visitors in this chamber..and some new faces too. Welcome…sit and relax while you pal Keeper explains a truth of life.

Bill and Ted Show is crap…it always has been crap….it always will be crap.

Harsh words, used for effect, but not too far from the truth. Bear in mind that this was originally a one shot show to absorb some traffic for a Halloween event. It was an add on, additional entertainment to “round out” what was being offered. WE made it into what it is now. We made it so Universal is in a position that they can’t even consider doing HHN without San Dimas’ favorite sons. Then once they deliver the fans rip it apart. The expression “they’re damned if they do and damned if they don’t” comes to mind.

I watch with amusement each fall when it starts:

Who’s going to be in B & T this year?
I hope they have ________
I hope they don’t have _______
I heard they were auditioning for _________

So much advance info coupled with our knowledge of the show’s history along with pop culture observations from the past year gives the show’s writer the thankless and IMPOSSIBLE task of surprising us like was done on that first show so many years ago. The show we write in our heads is always better than the one we see. Just like the movie or TV show that we “would do if I were in charge” is superior to the “garbage” that Hollywood is churning out. Just like our garage band would kick ass if the record industry didn’t control the radio stations.

It really gears up after the viewings start:

Oh my god this was the worst year ever
Bill and Ted sucked I’m never wasting my time on it again
I can never top 19__ ‘s version THAT was the best
That guy didn’t even look like ________
I can’t believe they didn’t use ____________
They should have had a joke about _________

For whatever reason this show attracts this more than any other aspect of the event. Why do we have this love/hate relationship with this show?? We know what’s’ going to happen. It’s not like it changes. You can write it yourself.

• Pre show dance number with hot dancers
• Introduce Bill and Ted
• Introduce Villain
• Villain explains plan
• Introduce bad guys
• Introduce good guys
• Everyone pairs off for a fight
• Good triumphs over evil
• This years popular singers come out
• Everyone dances and runs up the aisles
• They go away in the phone booth
• We stand up to leave at the same time the announcement tells us the theatre needs to be re-set for the next show

AND IS THAT REALLY SUCH A BAD THING?? To have a solid anchor, one familiar beacon to an annual event. It’s like going on a brand new adventure with a familiar friend. You don’t know what to expect but you know it will be fun because of the company you have with you. You know that even if the adventure is crap that the company is not. I know that I’m always focusing on “story” but in this case the story is not only what’s on the page. It’s the performances, the bits of business that the actors bring to the roles. It’s waiting to go in for the first time. It’s stomping your feet to Queen. It’s looking at a sea of teenagers that have never seen a Bill and Ted movie STILL get worked up about seeing the show. It’s about 20 years of tradition, history and memories. It’s about getting goosebumps when the spotlight shines on a prop phone booth and two them park actors say “Happy Halloween audience dudes!!”

And that my friends…is never crap

Every Day’s An Adventure

Keeper is a guest columnist. If you would like to be a guest columnist, or cover parks and events for us, please email us!