Oh Christmas, you are my favorite time of year. Gifts will be given, and received. Wish lists will be made, and as family and friends ask for my wish list this holiday season, I would like to make a little wish list for my favorite guy, Theme Park Santa. You know the guy, he’s the big executive that sits in an office way up at the North Pole (or at the top of a coaster at Cedar Point, you pick) that gives good little theme park nerds new attractions and shows in their favorite theme parks. So, what did I ask Theme Park Santa for this holiday season? What do I hope is on my list of new 2015 attractions?
What Theme Park Santa actually looks like. He flies around ready to poop on you
Since it is the holiday season, and I’ve been…(ahem)…good (ish) here’s my list for Theme Park Santa. Please keep in mind that this is just for fun, and not something to take serious, so relax, eat cookies and have another glass of egg nog!
- A Meet and Greet with Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy at Disney-Just imagine, a stilt walker, similar to “De-vine”at Animal Kingdom. Since they did a meet and greet with Star Lord and Gamora at Villains Unleashed this year, its possible.
- Speaking of Villians Unleashed– Make the huge Villain celebration a multiple night event
While I didn’t get to attend, rumor was the event was oversold and lines were incredibly long. If people are willing to pay $70 to attend- why not do it as a multiple night event? - Can we finish with the construction already around Downtown Disney? I feel like the construction near downtown Disney has been going on for a decade. Are we almost done?
- A Mos Eisley Cantina at Disney’s Hollywood Studios-I really want to drink in the Mos Eisley Cantina and listen to Figrin D’an and the Modal Nodes, perhaps with a specialty Star Wars themed cocktail in hand?
- A serious update to Terminator at Universal-I love this attraction- don’t get me wrong. The graphics for the actual show is pretty amazing- for 1996. However, as we have discussed in other articles, its looking seriously dated. I mean some of the technology we have now is even better than the kind talked about by Cyberdyne. Lets get a cool update for Terminator Genisys.
- A Doctor Who weeping angel house at Halloween Horror Nights-I can’t claim this an original idea (credit goes to Adam McCabe from Orlando Weekly!) but I think its a great idea (although I can hear editor Erik yelling at the screen “IT DOESN’T FIT DAMMIT!”). It would be a relatively easy house to do-once getting the licensing together of course since you would be reusing a lot of set pieces from years past. Not to mention, HHN fans will remember seeing a Tardis in the “American Werewolf in London” house back in 2013, even though the Weeping Angels were used…kind of…in Winters Night and Gothic.
- Universal needs to announce Kong already! Yes, Universal is building something amazing for 2015. Yes, it is going to be a huge new attraction that will take over the front of Jurassic Park. People already have an idea of what it’s going to be, so JUST ANNOUNCE THE DAMN THING ALREADY! Geesh! We want details, we want fun, we want banana breath merchandise!
- SeaWorld to just move on- Blackfish hit the park hard. There, I said it. It’s the elephant (or Orca) in the room that no one wants to talk about. They are doing the best they can with trying to educate the public on exactly what they do. They do amazing things for the animals and conservation by rescuing, rehabilitating and releasing the animals they can do that for…but…they are a theme park. Let’s get back to the fun theme park stuff! Let’s build a new coaster, and some amazing new shows. Let’s build a really amazing dark ride that doesn’t revolve around a conservation message. That’s what we have zoos for! I love SeaWorld, and will stand with them no matter what, but let’s drop the message that you save the animals and get back to being a kick ass theme park!
- Disney and Universal to settle the contract and build a Marvel Theme Park or Land-Disney and Universal have a contract to peacefully co-exist in the theme park world, with Marvel characters at their side. I really want that to stop. I really wish that Universal would sign over the Marvel land, revamp Superhero Island and let Disney just start blowing us away with great new attractions. Of course, this ties into number ten.
- Universal needs to buy DC away from Six Flags-Six Flags is a coaster park. They do those pretty well, but when it comes to themeing, they tend to fall by the wayside. They tried to do some really amazing things in the 90’s with Batman, and they did good…but then the lands they constructed fell into disrepair. Now they’re teaming with Sally to make a great dark ride, which will be amazing…but I’m worried that because it’s Six Flags, they’ll eventually mess it up. So, let Six Flags do their coasters and let’s sign the DC comic characters over to Universal. Let Universal do the characters right, and create an amazing theme park experience at Superhero Island. Let’s get some amazing new rides, some awesome creativity and let me see Batman jumping from building to building!
That’s my wish list for Theme Park Santa! What’s yours? Let us know in the comments below!
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